Post Retreat Reflections

I’ve just come back from a few days away in Spain with five other women in business and my nervous system feels different for it.

Not because we were sat doing vision boards or talking about how to 10x our income before breakfast. In fact it was quite the opposite. It was the relief of being around people who didn’t need to perform.

We were a group of a similar age and mindset, all self-employed, all navigating life, family, energy, visibility, self-doubt, purpose and all the messy in-between bits that come with being human whilst also trying to balance working in a way that meets us where we are at.

And what struck me most was how quickly we went beyond surface level, especially as we didn’t even really all know each other. (Two of the women I’d never met before.)

There was no weird competitiveness. No needing to pretend everything’s amazing when it isn’t or pressure to package ourselves up into shiny little “personal brands”.

It was just 5 days of honest conversations. The kind where you can say: “I’m tired.” “I don’t want to do business like that anymore.” “I’m fed up with the noise.” “I don’t know if I even want the thing I thought I was supposed to want.”

And instead of someone trying to fix you or funnel you into a programme, everyone just nods because they get it.

That kind of psychological safety is rare, particularly in the online business world that I’ve been part of for a while now. (Ironically though, I wonld never have met these queens if it hadn’t been for the online space.)

If I’m honest, I think the online space has created its own version of the Sausage Machine of Conformity and there’s a very particular mould you’re supposed to squeeze yourself into.

You’re supposed to want to scale/leverage. Supposed to want six figures. Supposed to hit 10k months. Supposed to automate everything. Supposed to constantly launch. Supposed to be visible in a very specific way. Supposed to be everywhere all the bloody time. Very much a chorizo with a LinkedIn profile.

And if you don’t want that?

If you secretly crave slower conversations, deeper connection, more meaningful work and enough breathing space to actually enjoy your life… it can feel like you’re somehow failing. Or worse, that you’re not ambitious enough.

We talked a lot about that whilst we were away. About how much of the online world feels performative and hustly now.

How people can end up all trying to sell to each other in the same circles whilst quietly burning themselves out behind the scenes.

How easy it is to absorb messaging that tells you success only counts if it’s loud, visible and monetised to death.

And how many of us are craving something calmer and more human.

I think this is partly why community matters so much to me. Its not about having a big audience, loads of followers or “building a platform.” There’s a difference.

I’ve realised over the years that whenever I can’t find the kind of space I need, I tend to create one.

I’ve done it through memberships before, through networking, workshops, and through the FAB Business Club a few years ago. And now I’ve done it again with the Funky Diva deck 2 sponsors.

We’ve got a little WhatsApp group going whilst I’ve been creating the second Funky Diva deck and I’ve loved having them there in the process with me. Don’t get me wrong, its not in a slick marketing “behind the scenes content strategy” kind of way.

Its been more about me sharing snippets and updates. The little wins, excitement, ideas and questions. It’s felt more about connection rather than transactional- which is what I enjoy when working on things because it can feel lonely.

And I think people are desperate for more of that connection and community. We are still in the hangover if lockdownbut also we don’t want to be treated like leads in a funnel all the time. It’s nice being treated like actual people.

We also spoke a lot on the retreat about integrity and fairness, doing the right thing even when nobody’s watching.

About how important it is to keep clients informed and included and how a proper win-win has to feel good for everybody involved.

And I think as I’ve got older, this matters to me more and more. Not just success, money or visibility but congruence.

Things matching up.

·Businesses where what people say publicly actually aligns with how they behave privately

·Spaces where people feel emotionally safe enough to be honest

·Communities where you don’t feel like you’re constantly being assessed for your commercial potential

Maybe that’s why this second Funky Diva deck feels more significant to me as well. Because the first deck almost arrived by accident.

It was born out of me stepping away from hustle culture and wanting something that felt more grounding, playful and empowering. But this second deck has been much more intentional.

The cards arrived this morning whilst all these thoughts were already swirling around my head from the retreat and it genuinely felt emotional opening the box.

Because woven through this deck is everything I’ve been talking about lately.

·Funky Diva energy

·The Sausage Machine of Conformity

·The idea of Spot. Split. Sizzle.

·The permission to stop shrinking yourself to fit spaces that were never designed for the real you in the first place

And maybe that’s because I’m changing too. I’m less interested these days in building things simply because they’re scalable or strategic. I want to create experiences that actually mean something.

The Sassy Shoes /Funky Diva experience coming up 27 June feels like part of that.

üA small group

üA safe space

üConversations

üCreativity

üPlayfulness

üConnection

üWomen stepping into their Funky Diva energy whilst physically transforming a pair of shoes into something bold and unapologetic.

Not because we all need to wear colourful shiny shoes but because sometimes having a tangible symbol of your own permission to take up space matters.

Later in the summer I’m planning a day time celebration around the Funky Divas this isn’t really about “launching.”

It’s more about a gathering.

Connection. Community. Conversations Laughter. Goodie bags. Of course the actual cards themselves.

Humans being humans together because I think a lot of people are exhausted. Not just physically but emotionally exhausted from feeling like they constantly need to optimise themselves.

Like we’re all tiny exhausted sausages endlessly moving down a conveyor belt trying to become “successful enough” to finally relax.

Eugh.

·No wonder people feel disconnected from themselves

·No wonder so many wardrobes are full of clothes that don’t actually feel like the person wearing them

·No wonder people feel like they’ve lost themselves a bit

The sausage machine I talk about has never been just about clothes. It’s about all the places we contort ourselves to fit expectations that don’t truly align.

And I think what I’m really interested in now is helping people ‘unsausage’ themselves from all of it.

Not to become louder versions of themselves like attention-seeking caricatures, or to suddenly turn into someone they’re not.

But to feel more at home in themselves again.

More honest, visible in a way that feels safe and aligned and more connected to what they actually value.

Because being a Funky Diva was never about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about having the courage to stop performing quite so much and to build a life, business, wardrobe and community that genuinely feel like yours.

That’s the real sizzle, not proving, hustling or pretending - just more truth. More connection. Being more you.