The Event I Almost Didn’t Go To

I nearly didn’t go. Not because I didn’t really want to…
But because everything around it felt like hard work. You know when it all starts stacking up? The travel, driving into a city you don’t know, not knowing where you are going at all.

Then the hotel…mistakenly booked through a third-party website 6 months but not confirmed since. No phone number to check your booking and your email doesn’t match because you’ve literally just burnt your business down and started again.

And then… the event venue has changed. The familiar place you’ve been going to for the past few years has been outgrown so the event is now, instead of being in a large conference room at Bolton Wanderers football club is in the bowl at the AO Arena in Manchester!

At that point it’s not even about the logistics anymore.

It’s the feeling. The wobble. The “is this a sign I shouldn’t go?” The voices got loud, and this is the bit I really want to talk about. Because it wasn’t just one thought, it was a full on panel discussion in my head.

You’ll recognise them…

·The one who wants to stay safe “you don’t need to go, it’s too much hassle”

·The one who doubts “is it even worth going to a business event if you’re winding down as a semi-peni?”

·The one who plays small “you can sit this one out, no one will notice”

All very convincing and all very reasonable. But none of them were telling the truth or being the voices I actually needed. This is where the Funky Diva’s energy comes in.

Because they’re not quiet. They don’t whisper, they know.

·The Fire Starters were the ones saying “you said this matters, so act like it”.

·Then there’s the grounded Truth Keepers “you’ve done harder things than this, you’ll figure it out”.

·The Soul Soothers were saying “ tell others how you’re feeling, share the load, talk it through”.

·And the Light Bringers (who love a party) said “those people at your table are counting on you to bring the energy”.

And if I’m really honest the last one is what tipped it. Because when you take the focus off yourself… everything shifts. This was the work (even before I got to the Big Festoon), we tend to think the transformation happens at the event from listening to the speakers etc, but it doesn’t.

It starts in moments like this, when you choose to go anyway and you move through the fear instead of waiting for it to disappear. It would’ve been easy to wrap these wobbles up in the guise of a self-care blankie instead of pulling up my big girls’ pants and getting on with it.

And I’m not afraid to admit, I did, at one point, regret this life choice as I drove around city centre Manchester for the 3rd time unable to get to the hotel. It certainly doesn’t help when Google Maps decides it’s had enough of life and sends you to dead end narrow street in city centre Manchester and suggest you walk from there to the hotel – true story! I was hot and sweaty and had turned the radio off by this stage. I actually phoned Paul and told him I was considering dumping my car.

Once I got there and parked up, in the very tight space in the underground car park of the hotel (more stress!), the hotel staff were lovely and couldn’t have been nicer. Travelodge, Manchester Central in case you’re wondering.

Once unpacked, I went to the bar for liquid refreshmentto wait for my roommate who was coming on the train, Then some of my table guests walked over from their hotel and we had a lovely get together over dinner. By this time all was well.

The following day as I drove into the room on my mobility scooter just like that everything dropped. It felt like coming home - the energy, the buzz, the permission to just be! Which is synonymous with The Big Festoon created by Dani Wallace. No overthinking or holding back, just folk showing up as themselves.

What happened at the table was everything. Hosting a table for me is about creating a space where people can arrive as strangers and leave feeling like they’ve found their people. You could see the shift as we spent time together.

That initial “where do I sit, what do I say?” energy quickly turning into laughter, honesty, real conversations over dinner/lunch times.

One of my guests shared that she’d been worried about joining a table where she didn’t know anyone and how at ease she felt, how easy it all became, how memorable it was.

That’s not by accident. That’s intentional. I like to provide everyone with information in advance in case that’s their preference. I set up a WhatsApp chat group in the run up to the event to build the excitement, along with a Zoom meeting so people can put faces to names. It can be like herding cats at times but it’s worth it, I know it was appreciated.

“You made the Big Festoon experience amazing, fun and so welcoming. Total FUNKY DIVA Perfection.”

“I think you put so much passion into it and did a wonderful job.”

“I was blown away by your attention to detail, by how much care and effort you had gone into decorating the table, providing props for us, the little goodie bags and what have you. That was so appreciated and you absolutely didn't need to do it, but it showed such a beautiful level of interest and heart”

“Fantastic table host and company.”

“The effort and thought you put into the whole process did not go unnoticed.”

The Plot Twist (because of course there is one). I said this was my last year hosting a table. And I meant it. I talked about just getting a general ticket and sitting on an unreserved seat…

But sitting in the room, feeling the energy, and then getting the lovely feedback over the weekend made me want to do it all over again. I realised I’m not done here as a table host and as such, I’ve already booked my table for next year – there are currently 3 seats left at the early bird price of £180. Message me if you want one.

So I suppose my reflection for this week is if you’re conflicted about something, feeling a pull… but also the fear - I see you.

Because I was you.

·The overthinking

·The “maybe not this time”

·The trying to talk yourself out of something you know deep down you actually want

So let me say this - Those voices telling you to stay small they might be loud… but they’re not in charge.

That version of me who nearly didn’t go?

She thought she was protecting herself. But really… she was keeping herself small. And the version of me who went anyway? She’s the one creating what’s next in total alignment.

So if you’re stood at that edge right now…wondering whether to go to the thing, to show up, to be seen…You already know which voice to listen to.